Grief and Death
Today I asked the FIE group what should I talk about to day and some people said grief so here I go....Death is such a hard thing to deal with, but sooner or later we all will have to face it. When I was young I use to have nightmares about dying to the point I had anxiety attacks. I would wake up in the middle of the night breathing heavy and hard. I would wonder how I would feel while I was dead and where would I go. It wasn't until I was older around 22 when I really knew that there is a place that we go to after death. This is something I never told my mom so let me say this now, Momma Im sorry lol. I was around 22 years old and I had taken a drug called acid. Now acid will let you imagine a lot of things. I was just getting of stage dancing and I started to feel very bad. My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. I even started to urine on myself. I was able to drive home and when I got home all I wanted was milk. I remember drinking a whole gallon of milk in 2 minute and ya'll I don't even drink milk. At this time I had not had any milk since I was around 6 years old. I remember running down the street screaming to the top of my lungs "SOMEONE HELP ME". At this time a neighbor came out side and called the ambulance. They came and got me and took me to the hospital. Of course I lied and told them I thought someone had put something in my drink, but that was a lie. They ran test on me and said that I had alot of methamphetamine in my system and I was almost at a heart attack stage. Well around a hour later my heart rate went sky high. I remember passing out. Know here is where the story gets good yall! When I opened up my eyes I saw my body in the Hospital bed! Yes I was staring at myself. I remember looking to the right and I saw a Very bright light. I was so at piece. I felt so loved. There was a conversation but I dont really remember what it was about. I remember turning around with the light and walking away. I was having a long conversation with this light. I remember thinking about my son and daughter at the time saying Im not ready to leave them. As soon as I said that a voice said.."your not leaving them yet, I just wanted you to see and know that there is a place you go to after death! I gave the light a hug and then I woke up. It felt like I had been out for days but the doctor said that it was only a few minute. When I woke up I was so excited to tell them what had happened and of course they didnt believe me. But after that yall I have never been afraid of death. I know for a fact that we go to a different place and NO ONE can tell me different. I had struggled with fear of death for so long that God came to me to assure me and give me peace about death. Yall have no idea it was a struggle for me. When it was time to go to bed at night or when it got dark at night I was so scared. So I guess he wanted to let me know that there was nothing for me to fear. There are a lot of people that are afraid of the so called unknown but dont be. There is a GREATER PLACE that we go to. I was there!!! I cant put it all in word but I can say that it was the safest and loving feeling I ever felt. When we are grieving we are grieving because we are going to miss that person in the natural there physical body. There Spirit still lives. Grief is natural we're so use to being around a person all of our life and when they are gone we feel like that are gone forever but, actually they're not. When you start feeling sad because someone is gone just remember all they did was go back home. We are all just like pilgrims passing through. When you are feeling hurt and lost just remember that you loved one just went back home to be with our FATHER.
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